Spoilers: All of Season 1 vaguely, as it's Post-Siege Part 2
Summary: After the siege is over they have their time, even if it is brief. Angsty OT3 for McKay/Weir/Sheppard.
She slipped her hand into his as they waited. A touch so simple, so wonderful and yet so incomplete - one hand empty, waiting for another to join them.
She watched the blip on the screen get closer and closer, knowing soon it would disappear - he'd be gone. Their survival depends on it, but her heart screams that she wanted him - they need him. Turning to Rodney she can see he feels the same. He doesn't want to watch but there's an odd fascination, a twisted sense of hope that he won't die - after all, John Sheppard can get out of nearly anything, and they both wait for him to, nevertheless knowing it's selfish.
By some twist of fate they aren't disappointed - they get everything they wished for. The Daedalus comes presenting the savior and even as they face insurmountable odds, they pull off yet another miracle and send the Wraith packing.
Then they are alone, the climax to the tense period has come and gone but the danger is still lingering in their minds. The fear is left, of what if things had been different.
They make their way to the bed together, falling into it, tired as hell. Rodney hasn't slept properly, if at all, for days now. She's surprised that the first thing he does is kiss her madly, not letting up until he's out of breath, followed by a matching kiss for John.
She understands why, even if she's not sure where his energy is coming from, and she lets him carry them all along. He sets the pace, slow and leisurely at first. He commands gently, John obeying and her obliging. It's precise, he tells each of them what to do exactly - John trails kisses along her body, lightly and luxuriously - tempting, and she traces patterns on Rodney's chest as he strokes John, gaining ever closer to his groin.
But somewhere that measure and meter breaks down, Rodney's carefully constructed order leads way to chaos. The kisses take on a hunger, and their bodies are fevered, without control. She strains to their touches and tries to pulls each man to her, a desperation to be close.
Passions are rising; Rodney is making incoherent noises as John teases him, leaving him a little senseless, and she finds herself a little left out with no attention from either. As she passes the lube to John, anticipating the need, he grins at her and moves a hand round to tease her too. Fingers rake down her body, stopping to lightly circle certain places he's learnt are sensitive - to tease her like he teases Rodney.
All three of them are here once more, but even nestled among both her men she feels alone, overwhelmed by the choking emotion that she felt when she thought they might be broken apart. They need to be complete again, but somehow that doesn't seem possible when at any point they could be ripped apart so easily. She strives on anyway, the future is uncertain, but they have the present, they have this day with no demands of them. This is time simply to recover.
Finally John reaches her inner thighs, his fingers trailing a fine fire of desire wherever he touches. But he knows exactly where not to touch as well, and the desire coils up inside her until nearly all restraint is lost. That's when John moves Rodney between them, and on top of her. She can feel the hardness of Rodney's cock pressing against her and he moans against her neck as John slowly enters him. From then on John sets the pace, building up the heat between them all; with each lunge into Rodney causing unbearable friction between them.
She gasps as Rodney slips into her in one fluid motion, furthered by John's stroke into him, going deep. From then on she holds onto them both fervently, riding out their united waves of pleasure. Each of her hands is full, clasped round one of theirs; completing the triangle, making them strong until the end comes.
Rodney comes first, breathless between them. Then John collapses off him, exhausted. She clings on to Rodney, pushing him further to her own climax and kissing John leisurely, her tongue delving into his mouth. Tasting him and feeling Rodney move inside her as it closes in on her.
Afterwards they lie in the bed, her in the middle, as both of them had collapsed off her at either side. She takes their hands again, her fingers curling over theirs. Neither asks why she does this, because they know it's out of need. They needed to feel alive, to know those they love are real. That death hasn't stolen their love away. That it isn't just a dream, a fantasy prone to leave without warning.
Her heart's not broken but she can feel the cracks, the doubts of putting herself at risk more than she has to. Yet this is something she can't do without, that's the reason it would hurt so much to not have it. Sometimes there are sacrifices, things that cannot be for the sake of others, and this is exactly that. This is time to recover - and they will. They'll come up stronger even if they must stand apart as they have done for so long now.
She can deal with the situation because she knows this will come again; they'll have more time someday. A day she looks forward to very much. A day she will strive toward. Every day dealt with is one more further, closer to their next interlude - when they can be unguarded once more in a way that is not weak. There are no secrets, no judgment, because each understands the other as none thought any could.
For when she is without them, her strength is hope; of a day far away, but there nevertheless.