Rating: T for language
Spoilers: Up to Season 2 Resurrection Ship Part 2
Summary: Lee thinks as he floats along.
He felt numb, but not from the coldness. Not physically, because he was beyond caring about his body and the lack of oxygen. He almost welcomed the way he was fading away, left alone watching the battle unfold.
But he felt blank inside, his mind previously filled to the brim and suddenly the slate wiped clean. He floats, and he doesn't care where he is. He stares into space, into the darkness. The recesses of his mind are all that's left with anything, the parts that know how frakked up this all is. And he wonders what's not wrong with this picture, of them scrounging in order to survive and dying off one by one anyway. Each explosion probably means a death, yet he escaped. Only to be left here, with time to reflect while he dies instead of sudden oblivion. Though he finds he doesn't mind nearly as much as he would have thought.
It was so simple to let his fingers slip off the tear and the air leak unhindered, because it's easier to give up and it's isn't that bad, really, to give over. What would humans do so differently from the Cylons if they won? What was this war being fought for anyway? Survival. And only one race could really survive, what did it matter if it was Humans or Cylons. Cylons kept coming. Even without the resurrection ship they'd probably still follow them to the ends of the universe, to Earth even.
There was no victory here, there was only meaningless fighting on and on, for survival – to no real purpose except that it was what people did. He doesn't want to do that any more. He doesn't want to be tired, stressed and on constant alert for attack. He wants peace and quiet. He wants this for eternity. The comms still work, Dualla's voice repeating again and again asking for his position, but he doesn't reply – he simply stares into the clarity of space as he starts to lose the ability to think clearly. He closes his eyes, and feels himself sinking, a weight pulling him away from the raging war. If he still could, he would smile.