Summary: He'd always been the tattle-tale of the class. All throughout his life, he'd continued on, doing what he thought necessary, but he'd never been ashamed of it before. Kavanagh angst. Includes unrelated BYOS.
A/N: This came from a discussion on what if all of Atlantis tried to keep the birth of a child by two of their ranks secret and the comment by dahan, that it'd never work because there would always be a Kavanagh out there. I was thinking, “surely he'd not be that heartless,” but ended up writing this thing where actually he is... Betaed by fififolle and Fanwoman. Pick whichever pairing you like, it'll work for any two Earthlings, apart from any of the leaders since Kav would surely stir up more trouble for them if that was the case.
It was Atlantis' biggest secret, and he'd given it away. He didn't know what he'd been thinking. Wait, no, that's a lie. At the time, he'd considered it his duty to report it - they were the betrayers of order and reason and sense, not him; they flaunted regulations, endangered lives. Most importantly, how did they think it would be good to raise a child in such a dangerous city, let alone a galaxy under threat? He'd thought their recklessness had gone too far this time, no heartfelt pleas could have changed his mind because he knew it wouldn't work out.
Reporting it had been the right thing in his eyes, better for the child. The risks they were exposing it to, both by attempting to hide it's existence in order for the family to stay in Atlantis and to avoid the repercussions of the parents’ actions, were too high in his opinion. Not to mention how inappropriate it was for those two to even have a relationship in the first place – didn't anyone respect the regulations? The whole thing had stunk of favouritism and irresponsibility, with Weir herself endorsing it by her silence.
There had been no way he'd have let it slide under the carpet like the rest of them. It had seemed necessary to mention it to those back on Earth – he hesitates to call that place home, though now Atlantis barely seems one either. He'd been proud of his actions, as always – of doing what no other dared or cared to. But he realises the city's occupants care, alright, and they put faith in what he couldn't – the strength of not just community, but of family; something he misses. His faith in the standing order of things was misplaced. He believed in strictly abiding every rule because it must be in place for a good reason, causing him to overlook anything more than simple facts, like people's feelings; how it might hurt them. He should be ashamed and at first, he wasn't. In his mind whatever happened would be justified, right in order to fix their wrongs. Now he's changed his mind - too late - it's the unforeseen consequences that have done that for him.
He'd never been accepted, and that had been something he'd lived with, ignoring the isolation – but this is a whole new level of that pain. Today, he winces under the angry accusatory gazes. Perhaps it only hurts this time because, after the fact, he does feel what he did was wrong. A mistake he can't take back and can't make amends for, however hard he might try. He split up the happy family, and not just those two who are now being forced back to Earth for discipline and a likely end to their careers. Atlantis is tight-knit community; everyone else had been willing to hide the truth, but not him. He'd seen what he couldn't have, and out of spite, punished them for it. All the while he'd deluded himself. Good intentions had been tainted by his own bitterness.
And so, the first Earthling to be born on Atlantis will never know the wonder of this galaxy. He has banished their symbol of hope, and this time there's no avoiding the harsh reality. Now he understands why they did it; they are all alone out here. Everyone wanted to feel the joy of growth, a city that could thrive for once, giving life rather than taking.
Instead of watching and keeping silent like all others, he broke the spell. Hence, he has become the reaper of the city, casting a dark cloud over everyone's hearts. The leper of their colony, totally alone and unwanted among them all – the perfect antithesis to the cherished child his words had banished.
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