Spoilers: Up to 1x06.
Summary: Honestly, Violet doesn't know how Cooper feels about her, but then sometimes she doesn't feel like Violet entirely.
A/N: Thanks to followmyrainbow for betaing. Also the Violet/Cooper vid “There's Something About You” by wannabezenmaster inspired me to get to writing this so thanks to that vidder.
Violet doesn't know. Her eyes don't see the blindingly obvious. She sees an easy companionship that she can fall back into, not realising it's a safety net that she takes for granted. The mind that's so good at seeing other people's truths fails to see those of her best friend.
But there are times, escaping the norm of reality, when Violet senses something other than she usually does. Sometimes her mind drops the convenient filter between the personal and professional and the two domains meld into one whole, providing an overview of her life. Suddenly she thinks thoughts usually denied or dismissed and she lets herself notice the little things that add up to more than she knows.
At the merest suggestion she needed help in the department store, he came to her aid. She'd known that he would drop anything for her. Cooper ignores everyone else as he cradles her head carefully, a concerned look on his face as he searches for any sign she's hurt. He goes beyond what she would expect from anyone else doing the same. All she can see then are his blue eyes wide open as he looks at her, until her concern for her own patient returns and breaks the odd moment.
Violet shakes the feeling off, believing it's just the bump on her head making her unable to think straight. She tries to put his smile out of her mind as he drives her back to the practice, but even without it she's distracted by the inexplicable musing on how good it felt to be hugged by him. A completely acceptable, friendly, congratulatory hug. A kind of hooray for sorting out the situation, with no hidden meaning...except a nuance to the exchange which a small uninhibited part of her mind discerned. Which is why the rest of her is remembering how he felt, arms encompassing her, parting with reluctance. Though of course Violet can't admit she wants that last idea to be true, for it to be possible he wants more, or even that she believes it; she's too busy ignoring the inappropriateness of her thoughts - he's her friend after all! As she turns her gaze out the window in order to gather her thoughts, she thinks of the one constant in her life over the last few years - Cooper is her friend and that never changes.
But there are plenty of other moments as well; especially those times when she's drunk just a little too much, when reality transcends the everyday bringing with it odd pondering upon existence, who she is...and suddenly she's acutely aware of how his hand searches for hers as they debate the merit of her having another cocktail. She tries to get up and Cooper's hand tugs at hers, pulling her back down inadvertently. Off balance, she practically falls on top of him and just then it isn't that she doesn't care; she likes it. She has the perfect excuse not to get up, to linger in his grasp and maybe he knows that she knows, but again she doesn't really care right this second. She giggles, laughing into his ear like they have a secret joke he should understand, because...well, they do, don't they? Even though it's one they never share out loud, almost like they can never both be thinking it, which strikes her as fate being cruel and she'd cry possibly except she can't stop laughing by now.
Cooper puts her behaviour down to her being tipsy and, adopting an attitude more common to Violet than himself, doesn't question why nor read any meaning into her actions. His reaction makes her somewhat sad, since if he had thought any of it and simply pried a bit, she might just tell him. Ironic that in this situation she doesn't feel like Violet, and to match, neither does he seem like the Cooper that Violet knows.
You see, Violet doesn't know. Life is simpler that way, she thinks as she slips into a slumber, aware of “someone” gently covering her body with a blanket. In theory it could be anyone who was still at the party - Sam, Naomi, even Addison – but she always knows who to expect, at least in moments like this. Trouble is, they don't feel real but instead like a dream so quickly forgotten upon waking and Violet has never been one for analysing those. As long as she never seeks to remember and is not told then the cycle continues, with pinches of the extraordinary caught on the wind haphazardly. Whilst Violet lives a very real existence, barely realising what is actually missing - all she needs do is look for that little extra in the right place.